If we're going to spend 12 hours watching Jeds fight for love (or at least a music contract), at least "The Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart" -¬†aka "Jeds 2: Generic Boogaloo" - ended as pleasantly as possible.
For 80 minutes, the debut of "The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart" was rendered silent. Call it hilariously ironic. Call it divine intervention trying to direct me toward better life choices. I call it an excuse to drink even more wine than usual.
Last night's episode doesn't excuse all the bad decisions Peter's made this season - and he's seemingly only made bad decisions - but it certainly helps explain a little bit why Peter's been so bad at being "The Bachelor."
It's been far too long, but we saw something new last night: a watchable, decent episode of "The Bachelorette." See what happens when you quarantine Luke in his own little portion of the show instead of letting him infect the whole thing?
I actually liked this season of "The Bachelor" a lot more than I expected. But then these last two nights happened - and boy, there's not sticking the landing and then there's landing so poorly that your femurs explode through your knee caps.
A good mantra to live by when watching "The Bachelor" is: The more excited the show is about something, the less excited you should be. And yet somehow Colton's fence jump turned out to be totally worth it Monday night.
"We haven't really witnessed anything like this before," preached Chris Harrison during Monday's three-hour season finale. But has Harrison watched "The Bachelorette" before? Because nothing new or unique or interesting or dramatic happened.
Usually After the Final Rose is just a nice victory lap, with maybe the final person eliminated having some gripes to air out to Chris Harrison before everyone goes their separate ways. But last night's conclusion had work to do.
Monday night's finale was funny. It was dramatic. It brought in sweetly real people to balance out its cardboard cutout lead. And most importantly, it finally put this boring, bad season of "The Bachelor" out of its damn misery.