Read the book before seeing "He's Just Not That Into You."

Totally getting into "He's Just Not That Into You"

I managed to pick up my copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" exactly when I needed it most.

I had been seeing a complete waste of time, the rebound from my previous long-term, meaningful-but-failed relationship and, as I shared in an earlier blog, I got what was coming to me when this loser cheated.

I rarely look to books, television or films to make lasting impressions on me in terms of life lessons, but in this case I was vulnerable and soaked up every word like a sponge.

Guys, I know you are rolling your eyes right now, but trust me on this one.

If you haven't read the book or seen the film, read the book first. Though it's completely geared towards women guys, can take away the same message and believe it or not, it's a good and relevant one.

So many people out there -- men and women, gay or straight -- are stuck in relationships that devalue who they are and its basically because so many of us manage to convince ourselves of damn near anything to avoid being hurt, rejected or alone. I've been alone and, yes, it sucks, but as I've grown up a little I've realized that being alone is always better than being in a relationship that you doubt day after day.

We've all either said or heard this classic, "He's not calling because he's just so busy right now." Uh, sure, you keep telling yourself that, or call the jerk out on it and dump him.

I've been seeing a guy for a few months and if he doesn't think he's going to have time to call me when he said he would, he calls, texts or e-mails me to let me know. Sure, things come up that you cannot predict and people do sometimes get too busy to call. But if this is a regular occurrence, stop staring at your cell, put down the rocky road and get your butt off the couch and go find someone that's not going to lie to you, someone who is actually into you.

Maybe some of you don't agree with me, but look at it this way -- while you're wasting your time, energy and trust in a rela…

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Is a taboo still taboo if so many people seem to talk/obsess about it?
Is a taboo still taboo if so many people seem to talk/obsess about it?

Is it still taboo if everyone keeps talking about it?

Most guys I know have no problem divulging to me or anyone else within earshot their affinity for anal sex. I'm not just talking about guys I've dated. I'm talking friends, friends of friends, boyfriend's friends, gay and straight friends. They all seem to like anal as much as, if not more, than vaginal sex.

I have also heard from a number of women that say they were initially very skeptical about the idea but actually wound up liking it far more than they expected and sometimes, just like the guys, even favor it over vaginal sex.

The typical reason I'm always given from guys on the topic is that "it's tighter" and therefore is a more intense feeling. Makes sense. Men also have prostates, which when stimulated correctly can be very pleasurable, despite the way you guys feel when your doc asks you to bend over. Think of the scene from "Road Trip."

So, with all of this on the table, is anal sex still taboo in today's society?

It's not as if no one is doing it. Take a stroll through any adult store and you'll know its true; gay, straight, whatever, there are videos, books and toys dedicated strictly to anal sex, which to me means a lot of people seem to be exploring and enjoying the activity.

My assumption is that even now in the days of Pridefest (some of the most fun I've ever had in Milwaukee), the openness of gays and lesbians in the public spotlight and even monumental steps towards the possibility of gay marriage, people look at anal sex as something "gay" and therefore not to be discussed.

Oddly enough, or not, I've had these anal sex conversations with some of the biggest meathead, fraternity letter wearing, homophobic guys that I know.

One such meathead was sitting at Steny's with me late one night. While everyone moved down to play darts he decided it was a great time to unload on me how much he liked anal. However, it didn't stop there; he also confided in me the story of his own introduction into butt-plugging.

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If you are newly single, there is a checklist than can help get you back in the game.
If you are newly single, there is a checklist than can help get you back in the game.

After breakup, brush up on the rules of attraction

Everywhere I look, I see couples.

It's a lot easier to deal with when one is attached, but of course then you are too involved with your own relationship to notice.

There is nothing more annoying than being recently single and spending a long, cold winter driving through Downtown and seeing that couple on the street corner exchanging a sweet kiss not caring that its 15-below, going to dinner with that couple that really couldn't care less that you're seated across from them because all they want is to get home and ravage each other. What about the couple in the grocery store trying to pick out a frozen pizza for movie night with the same childish whining as teenagers fighting over who should hang up first? "No you pick, I don't care, really, whatever you want, I picked last time." All the while, you're in the next aisle, rolling your eyes and daydreaming about shoving that frozen pizza down their throats.

Then it happens. You fall back into a relationship when you least expect to and, suddenly, you understand again. You get back to that weird, happy place where the lightest, accidental brushes of skin are enough to give you goose bumps and make your stomach turn.

New love is a great feeling. You have so much to learn about each other, things you'd experienced alone seemed lackluster until you had this person to share them with and going even a few days without sex is equivalent to one of you coming back from a year at sea.

It's great, but you have to find it first.

If you aren't attached, how do you escape the sea of couples and venture out to find someone of your own? Or just find someone who loves sitting in the corner of the bar and commiserating about how much you hate couples in love?

I've almost always dated friends of friends. It's relatively safe and easy -- like middle school. You tell your friend that you think "that guy is really cute." She tells her boyfriend, who tells his friend to ask you out. You already have a p…

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Wild partying often leads to "experimentation."
Wild partying often leads to "experimentation."

Girls just wanna have fun

Ask any woman under the age of 45 if she's "experimented" with other chicks and you'll probably receive a resounding "Oh, yeah."

Straight girl-on-girl action has definitely become a more and more regular and accepted occurrence at bars and in dorm rooms over the past 30 years.

I didn't grow up during the ‘60s or ‘70s, but I can imagine there was a serious amount of girl love going on back then. Today, however, it's more the norm on any given Friday or Saturday night, no longer reserved just for spring break debauchery or designated to the Free Love Generation.

I'm not a lesbian; but making out with my roommates in college or grinding and kissing with girls at clubs was never out of the question when I was in college. Whether at a house party French kissing for free shots or just a little one-on-one action after a night out, it was never all that weird. In high school I knew a lot of girls that were just friends, but they would kiss for hours for the sake of practice and because of course, it feels really good.

A friend of mine told me a story about a couple of her high school friends coming to visit her at college and what started as a fun, drunken night out turned into some serious heavy petting between all of them piled into a bed together. Why not? If nobody wakes up feeling weird about it -- no harm, no foul.

We aren't that naïve guys, we know it drives you insane to watch two girls do anything vaguely sexual together, but that's just your male brain working overtime. Two girls are always better than one. Four boobs are always better than two and ... well, you know where I'm going with this.

When two drunk girls at a bar start making out, any straight guy within a five-mile radius will come running to check it out hoping and praying that they could end up somewhere in that mix, (Oh, and for your future reference, while you might have a shot with the straight chicks that make out at bars in front of you, you do not have a c…

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