The last two years have been fun, but Sarah Foster is saying goodbye.
The last two years have been fun, but Sarah Foster is saying goodbye.

Sarah Foster says farewell

When I first started writing this column, I had no idea how important it would become to me or what impact it would have on my life, but I can say without hesitation that I have no regrets about the past two years.

Love me or hate me, that part never really mattered. To be honest, I rarely read the comments because after just a few blogs were posted it became apparent that I would take the comments too seriously and I would let it affect the topics I wrote about and what I had to say.

Just as I was debating how to sign off as Sarah, I came across this article on CNN.com and I knew that this last blog had to be not just about what this experience meant to me as a writer, but what it meant to me as an anonymous someone, putting herself out there to be criticized by anonymous somebodies.

It's easy to be cruel to people and express hatred when you are anonymous and, in this case, I believe that was compounded by the fact that I was anonymous as well. Yes, that is a real picture of me, but no one, even my closest friends, knew it was me prior to my telling them so. My real name isn't Sarah Foster. So I can see why it's easy for people to say whatever comes to mind to a person they don't have to look in the eyes, or even think of as a real person.

The Internet has changed our lives in so many great ways. We can immediately learn about events taking place around the world and we can instantly keep in touch with friends and family. We have the power to communicate our thoughts with millions of people. It all depends on who is paying attention and whether we choose to use that power for good or for hatred.

Putting yourself in the public eye, no matter how big or how small, means you open yourself up for the criticism of people that think they know everything about you, despite the fact that you are perfect strangers. We feel the freedom to say whatever comes to our minds because, although we know the people we are criticizing are real enough to have opinions, they are n…

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Learning more about your significant other doesn't have to be a painful process ... really.
Learning more about your significant other doesn't have to be a painful process ... really.

Do you know your partner?

How well do you know the person you're dating? Does their past weigh heavily on your list of information to share? That question recently came up between a good friend of mine and me. She began dating a guy in the past month and though they were friends beforehand, she's realizing now, she wants to know so much more about him, his past and his life before they knew each other and she's not getting much out of him.

I warned her about putting too much weight on this. Guys, especially straight guys, don't often volunteer significant, personal information. Not because they want to be closed off, but just because they don't always see how this exchange of stories and experiences brings closeness and a better sense of knowing another to those that share them.

If I want information about my boyfriend's life prior to our relationship, I have to ask direct questions to him or go around him to his family. The thing is, even when I ask and discover something interesting or surprising or unique about his life, he never turns around to ask me about a similar experience. It's not because he doesn't care. I've asked him flat out if that was the case, granted, he could be lying, but I think its genuine lack of curiosity. He doesn't ask because he doesn't see the connection between then and now. He never thinks to ask because that's just not him. It's just not most guys.

A lot of guys also assume that women like being the center of conversations like this. That they don't need to bother sharing their life because all we women want to talk about is ourselves and our relationship. Which isn't true. Sure there are women out there that don't have any interest in talking about anything but themselves, but all the women I know want to know about the pasts of our loved ones because we believe it gives us a better glimpse into who they really are. A person's past can tell you a lot about them, certainly not everything, but it does tell us bits and pieces about how a person's past made t…

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Winter is a good time to put a fire back in your relationship.
Winter is a good time to put a fire back in your relationship.

Put the spark back in your relationship

Do you have to trade the excitement of a new relationship for the comfort of a familiar one? After the first few months of getting-to-know-you, do you have to lose the thrill?

The other night my boyfriend asked me if I had anything cute to wear to bed. I looked down at my outfit, which consisted of his track pants, his over-sized T-shirt and my gigantic wool socks and smirked, "Why? This doesn't do anything for you?"

Even I thought I looked frumpy, but in my defense, it's the middle of winter and he refuses to turn the heat above 63 degrees. Unless they make super-sexy thermal underwear, that's not frumpiness, it's survival. Half the time, I'm tempted to wear a knit hat when I stay at his house.

I admit it. I'm comfy cozy in love ... and it shows. When we first started dating, I made huge efforts to look my best all hours of the day and night, freezing to death or not, even when I was sick, even when I was sleeping. After you get close enough to someone and you know that they know that you don't wake up in the morning with your hair done, they know you have morning breath and that maybe, just maybe, when you've had a little too much wine, you snore a little.

Now, that's not me (wink, wink). My breath smells like fresh squeezed lemons when I wake up, I never snore even if I have a sinus infection and I'm passed out on cold meds, and even when I just roll out of bed my hair looks like Kim Kardashian's. My only fault is the frumpy wintertime outfits. That's my cross to bear.

For the rest of you, who aren't so lucky, maybe it's time to get back to that happy place you lived in when you first got together. Remember that feeling you got those first few giddy months where one long kiss made you feel like you could fly and throw up all at the same time. Well, why not find that feeling again? There's nothing like a first kiss. That's like getting high for the first time. You'll never get back there, but why not have a little fun trying?

When everything is new between y…

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In case you were visiting Mars and haven't yet heard, Brett Favre was fined $50,000 for his role in the alleged Jenn Sterger texting fiasco.
In case you were visiting Mars and haven't yet heard, Brett Favre was fined $50,000 for his role in the alleged Jenn Sterger texting fiasco.

A woman's view on the Favre mess

So who else thinks the penalty passed down from the NFL regarding Brett Favre's alleged sexual harassment is a total joke? For the most part, I've been impressed with Commissioner Roger Goodell's work. Aside from allowing Michael Vick to play in the league again, he's been pretty even-handed in his rulings. The measly fine handed down to Favre is nothing but a slap on the wrist, if that. It'd be more appropriately described as a love tap.

Fifty thousand dollars is a lot of money to people like you and me. Fifty thousand dollars to Brett Favre is a drop in the bucket. The New York Times reports the fine "represents less than one percent of Favre's $16 million salary this season and is less than some of the fines the NFL has handed out in its crackdown this season against helmet-to-helmet hits." Now, I get that helmet-to-helmet fines need to be big numbers. People die when those situations go wrong, but was Favre's fine just a parting gift?

There was little point in suspending him and it's no secret that the NFL purposely drew out the length of time spent on the investigation so Favre could finish out the season. Supposedly he's really retiring this time and, though I don't agree with his conduct as of late, even I would hate to see his career end in suspension. But hitting him with a fifty thousand dollar fine is laughable.

The NFL claims they couldn't find evidence that he "violated league policy on workplace conduct" so instead they fined him for his lack of cooperation with the investigation. How many companies do you know that wouldn't take a text message from your phone as evidence that you sent a text message to your subordinate? What would happen to you if you sent a subordinate employee in your workplace a picture of your junk? How many companies do you know that allow their employees to sexually harass each other without serious consequences? There are plenty of workplaces where this would result in severe consequences, up to and including dismissal.

It …

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