A hilarious (read: horrendous) thing happened the other day. I opened my wallet and flies flew out. I asked one of those flies if I could borrow a couple bucks, and the fly turned his pockets inside out and laughed. I said, "Shoo fly, don't bother me" and squished him.
Crudbuckets! Time for plan "B," also known as Plan BROKE ... as a joke.
What does a fly (ha, I'm so punny) girl such as myself do to drown my sorrows ... er ... have a good time, when the cash flow is drier than an armadillo's back? Smush my own grapes? Pick some dandelions and whip up some wine? Drink my own tears?
Then I remembered ... this is Milwaukee! Land of the free and the frugal. We've been getting drunker than skunks for decades on little more than pocket change.
So I poured myself a sparkling glass of Milwaukee's Best and did some digging. Turns out, there's a whole bunch of fly-filled wallets all about town. Every corner of our fair city is filled with bars appealing to our kind.
I present to you, my broke-ass brothers and sistahs, the Sorrow Be Drowned list! Let's put this whole "eat, drink and be merry" crap to the test, shall we?
Notte Night Lounge
1033 N. Old World 3rd St. (414) 308-6330
Head here on Thursdays! That's when my female friends can drink all night for only a buck. That's right. One dollar. Like whoa. Boys don't cry, so don't. You're also able to get your drunk on for $2 per drink. Notte so shabby!
1139 N. Water St. (414) 226-6969
Ever pay $6 for a single glass of beer? Yeah. Me, too. Oh, the good ol' days! Let's drink to those days of ol' but this time our six bucks will get you an entire pitcher. If you need some extra oomph, shots are only $2.
Bryant's Cocktail Lounge
1579 S. 9th St. (414) 383-2620
If you're looking to go back in time (possibly to a time you weren't in the poor house) look no further than Bryant's. Fittingly you can order Depress…