Turn those uncomfortably unflattering snapshots into a rip-roaring good time.

Funny Face to the Facebook rescue

We've all have had that feeling of dread as a notice pops up informing us we were "tagged" in an unknown Facebook photo. Oh crap. When was that taken? Was I showing my good side? How drunk was I?

Then you see the photo and realize you can't actually remember when it was taken. It's been years since you even saw that horrible angle of yourself and you are making your infamous "I'm drunker than a skunk" face. What to do? Untag! But, of course. Untag the crap out of that photo.

Instead of getting carpal tunnel from clicking the "untag" button, you can spend a mere $8.99 on Funny Face Magnets. Turn those uncomfortably unflattering snapshots into a rip-roaring good time by slapping a clown face, a chimp face or a donkey head on top of your infamous drunk pose. Besides saving you from complete and utter embarrassment, the makers of this ingenious product are right in our backyard; Riverwest, to be exact.

I talked to Steve Mathison, one of the founders of Funny Face Magnets to find out what makes his social networking superhero brain tick.

OnMilwaukee.com: Funny Face Magnets is a product that inspires an instantaneous face palm, as I wish I would've thought of it myself. What's the story behind the conception of your hilarious product?

Steve Mathison: Several months ago, I was paging through a trade magazine and stopped on an article where the author's picture was featured at the top of the page. His photo was one of those: "Oh-my-gosh-how-did-this-author-ever-approve-this-photo?" His face was beet red, he was sweaty and he looked terribly uncomfortable, like he just swallowed an Indian Ghost Chili. I cut out his picture and taped it over my girlfriend's face in a photo she kept on the refrigerator door. Later that week we were hosting a dinner party and out of the blue, she burst out laughing when she finally noticed the funny face on her body in this photo. We all started moving the face around from photo to photo, and soon we'd realized that we'd spent a significa…

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Cold, shmold. It's nothing a little liquor can't knock out.
Cold, shmold. It's nothing a little liquor can't knock out.

Fight your cold with booze!

Once upon a time a wise so-and-so said "write what you know." So here is what I know. My head feels like a hot air balloon made of marshmallows. I look like a friggin' newt, as I can only breathe out of my mouth. I actually used a coupon to buy Kleenex in bulk. Soup and I have gone on lunch dates for the better part of this week. I sound like a stepped on Muppet.

In short, I'm sick.

Thus, in a Vicks VapoRub haze, I asked some of my most trusted sources for their "Get Well Soon" drink recipes.

Comments on my Facebook page ranged from Chad recommending "Whiskey ... just whiskey" to Dave suggesting "A Lunchbox: aAmaretto, OJ and beer: equal parts in a glass, in that order, no ice." Mare likes coffee and Baileys because it warms her right up. Chris' go to is tea with honey, lemon and brandy, but Carolynn prefers hot Grand Marnier. Carrie let me in on a Wisconsin classic, a shot of blackberry brandy. Hmmmm. Interesting.

Blogger extraordinaire Jordan Reid from ramshackleglam.com suggested her recipe for mulled wine. After giving it a whirl, I'm happy to report it's ridiculously delicious and tastes like the entire holiday season in a mug. It warms your soul and your belly and makes your brain forget about your marshmallowey Muppet head, if only for a moment.

To whip up your own pot of mulled wine, grab a medium sized-pot and fill it with one bottle of red wine, half cup sugar, a few slugs of brandy, one cinnamon stick, a few shakes of allspice, a pinch of cloves and half an orange, sliced up. Let the pot simmer over low heat until it starts to steam. Sip and feel warm, fuzzy, and loved.

While my wine was mulling away I reached out to some of my favorite local establishments to dig up what their doctors/bartenders prescribe to those of us feeling under the weather.

Mike from Water Buffalo, 249 N. Water St., has two drinks to fight your flu bug. The first is "Manuka Tea" and will get you off the couch and on the dance floor. Take hot green tea, a lemon wedge and ad…

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Sara's custom bowling ball.
Sara's custom bowling ball.

Bay View bowling alley serves up delicious bloody

When I'm trying to impress a boy I generally tell them one of three facts about myself: I was Fan of the Game as chosen by the crowd at a Brewer game once, I won Bob and Brian's Pigskin Picks competition a few years back, and that I own my own bowling ball and shoes.

The last one always gets the best reaction. I'm not sure if the dropped jaws and wide eyes I get with my ball engraved with "SARA" that I carry in a leopard print bag with shoes with hot pink laces are because it's impressive or incredibly dorky. Either way, it shows my love of bowling is one to be reckoned with.

Unfortunately, despite growing up in a small town where bowling was  apart of gym class (it's true) and being the proud owner of my own equipment, I still suck. But I suck in style.

These days when I'm looking to practice sucking I do so at Bay View Bowl, 2416 S. Kinnickinnic Ave. I've been coming to this quaint 12 lane alley for years. It boasts all the modern conveniences: such as computerized scoring (complete with a ball speed read-out), shiny new shoes and a colorful selection of balls. The lanes are bright and clean and the seating is comfy. Get there early to plug the state of the art juke box with all your favorite tunes.

For those not looking to perfect their gutter balls, there are pool tables, a foosball table, darts, and one heck of a bar. If you go to Bay View Bowl on Sundays you can indulge in two for one games and one of the best Bloody Mary's around. For $4.50 the bartenders will handcraft you a bloody from scratch, an art form that is all but lost these days. They're garnished with a pickle spear, a couple olives, and a florescent hot pepper which makes for great "I dare you to" eating competitions. The bloody is spicy and smooth and accompanied with a chaser of your choice of beer. If you order a Bud Light it comes to you in a bowling pin shaped bottle. Does it get any better?

It sure does. Back when I was learning the fine art of bowling in gym class, cosmic bowling or …

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Four Loko didn't kill Sara, but it didn't make her stronger.  Just sick to her stomach.
Four Loko didn't kill Sara, but it didn't make her stronger. Just sick to her stomach.

Fear and Loking in Maltwaukee

Tuesday started out like any other day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and I was having a caffeine craving. After meeting a friend for lunch, I stopped by my corner store for a couple energy drinks before heading back home to an impatient mountain of paperwork.

While I perused the choices (Monster or Monster Low-Carb) my line of sight was yanked over to a row of brightly camouflaged cans bearing the words "Four Loko" on the side.

Shut up. Could it be? I had been hearing about this energy drink/alcohol hybrid via the interwebs grapevine. News stories are flooding my RSS regarding entire states banning the $2 can as college kids are freaking out on the carbonated malt beverage dubbing it "blackout in a can."

Of course I had to try it.

Four Loko comes in a crazy number of flavors more suited for the front of a Kool-Aid packet. Grape, fruit punch, orange blend (I don't even want to know), watermelon and blue raspberry are only half of the available choices. I went with boring ol' cranberry lemonade because Adult Sara made me.

The 23.5-ounce can not only tosses 600 calories at you, but a whopping 12 percent alcohol by volume, the equivalent of five to six beers. The four main ingredients (hence the "four" in the name, yay for creativity) -- caffeine, guarana, taurine and alcohol -- are causing the nation's "experts" to throw down over the mixing of uppers and downers. I do believe I've been doing that for years when I mix whiskey and cola, but I digress.

When I popped the top of my very own can o' Loko and took a swig, the sickly sweet, slightly pickle-ish liquid that shocked my taste buds wasn't the best of first impressions. However, I'm a lot of things, but a quitter isn't one of them, so I slugged and I sipped and I made horrible twisty faces. For three hours. Like whoa-ko.

I can't tell you I necessarily enjoyed those three hours as much as I anticipated, but let's say they didn't suck. What did suck was the horrible stomachache my non-college age…

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