Old Hashioned garnishes double as munchies.
Old Hashioned garnishes double as munchies.

April fool's archive, 2017: Wisconsin legalizes pot, but only as an ingredient i

Thanks to a measure passed on Tuesday, Wisconsinites will soon be able to legally consume marijuana – but only in the form of a brandy Old Fashioned.

Supporters of the new law, which will go into effect later this year, are already referring to the cannabis cocktail as an "Old Hashioned."

Some residents are concerned for the impact these "pot-ent potables" might have on inebriated driving and over-consumption of bar snacks.

In other states with legalized recreational marijuana, the laws do not allow cannabis to be sold or used in bars. Wisconsin, however, will be the first state to permit the combination of the two. 

"This is a win-win for everyone: stoners, drinkers and anyone who just wants to feel really good" said Rick Roberts of the Wisconsin Tavern League. "There is absolutely no reason why we can't all just get along. And by 'get along,' I mean while getting high and drinking lots of alcohol."

Recipes will vary from bar to bar, but Old Hashioneds will primarily be made with an alcohol-based cannabis tincture or loose bud that will be muddled into the beverage. At first, the marijuana will be imported from the three of Wisconsin's border states that have legalized medicinal pot. In 2025, local growers will be be allowed to create the tinctures in small batches.

"I’ve already created a ‘#muddlemymaryjane’ hashtag," said bartender Eric Teller.

John Flightman, owner of Frisky’s Lounge in Tomah, said he would like the law to be more inclusive and include other cannabis cocktails.

"Dude. I know Wisconsinites will love their Old Hashioneds, but I think there’s a market for more," said Flightman. "I’d like to see a weed whiskey – Wheedskey – and a GRASShopper legal in Wisco by 2019. Maybe a Madhashan. Or a Bloody Mary Jane."

However, lawmakers say they will most likely first legalize a Usinger’s "bluntwurst," "Cheeba Cheese" and a "I’m So Fried I Can’t Function" fish dinner.

Gov. Scott Walker said he would veto any additional laws l…

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