Is there anything this guy can't do?
Is there anything this guy can't do?

The joy of the Cuisinart

Scott decided to spoil me with the recent gift of a Cuisinart Elite Collection 16-cup food processor, which I broke in this weekend.

What a sweet piece of machinery this thing is, and it's causing me to think about food processors in a completely different light. I've never had a Cuisinart before, let alone something like this, which seems to be the mother of all domestic kitchen equipment.

My previous food processor was a hand-me-down four-cup Regal La Machine I which I only dragged out when I was making pate for Thanksgiving and maybe another time or two each year to make a cole slaw or some pesto. Two weeks ago I spent a good amount of time cursing at it after I poured too much poblano pepper-infused chicken stock into it and watched as it started pouring out the lid, down the sides and bottom and all over the kitchen counter and floor.

The new food processor is big enough I was able to puree two quarts of potato soup in it this afternoon, and it has now found a permanent spot on ourcountertop next to the stove, whereas the old machine always lived in a box downstairs.

I was admittedly intimidated by it at first, seeing as how it comes with a 85-minute how-to DVD, and I watched a brief video online where some super chef playing a housewife succeeded in making pizza sauce, dough, sliced pepperoni and perfectly shredded mozzarella cheese in less than three minutes. But after screwing up a couple shallots by dropping them in sideways instead of straight up and down, I got the hang of it and am back to my cooking mantra of have no fear.

For a dinner party on Saturday, I used the new food processor to make a Thai chili sauce, julienne vegetables for spring rolls, and mince, slice and chop all my ingredients for pad Thai. This morning I was able to crank out hashbrowns in about two minutes (including peeling the potatoes), puree the aforementioned potato soup and make pie crust and slice apples for a pie, all in the Cuisinart. I am floo…