Five things I've eaten that weren't food
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Clearly, I have an oral fixation. (Yeah, yeah, pervs, go there if you must.) I have always liked eating, drinking and smoking – even though I have not done the latter in many years now.
Recently, after scolding my son for, again, chewing on a pen cap, I started thinking about all of the things I've put into my mouth that were not meant for consumption.
Here is a list of items I've eaten that were not food.
Bonne Bell lip smacker – I could not help it. I was five and it smelled so much like bubblegum that I had to taste it. Terrible idea. The Dr. Pepper flavored one wasn't any better.
Paste – I had a problem with eating food that looked like vanilla frosting, but wasn't. However, it was totally unnecessary for that yellow-haired boy to point at me and announce to the entire kindergarten that I was a paste-licker.
Crisco – See "paste."
Barbie Doll shoes – This one baffles me. I have a very vague memory of chewing on squishy, plastic Barbie shoes when I was about 2. I remember gnawing on them for a long time, but I do not think that I swallowed them.
Easter egg dye pellets – I thought they were Sprees (candy). So I ate them. And wow, colorful poop.
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