I don't know about you all, but I hate going shopping for jeans.  It's a painful glimpse at the reality of "post holiday weight", the odds that the most expensive pair will be the pair that "works", and my own personal theory that there are only five people in Milwaukee who can really wear a skinny jean "the right way." In any case, shopping for that hot and trendy new pair of denim can be a trying experience. We have our options for vendors of course; Gap, Banana, Macys... and for the really stylin jeans, Detour and AALA REED.  But, its amazing how things like pocket placement, waist placement, and a half inch difference in the inseam (see my blog on "taco butt") can make or break a denim fitting. And then, of course, there is always that girl in the next dressing room, size zero minus 1, who looks like a Ford Model in every pair she tries on (Wait... didn't I just try the same pair on... I HATE HER!!!!.)

But, ladies... please take these following words with a grain of salt.  You need to pick denim styles that suit  your body shape.  Sometimes, this will include getting your jeans hemmed, or altering the waistband.  Usually, these alterations are inexpensive, and you friendly neighborhood alterations specialist (drycleaners do a good job) can customize your denim to fit to perfection.  But, you need to start with the right pair.  Which brings me to super lowrise jeans.  Ladies, there are very few who can wear these jeans.  The fact that the fly is only two inches long is wrong to begin with, but if you're old enough to have some nice curves, the risk of developing "muffin top" (aka... fat that flows over the waistband) is very high.  Also, please buy your pants with a rise high enough to keep me from seeing your butt crack when you bend over... pretty please.  This land should be a "crack free zone"... and that includes keeping that VS g-string out of my sight too.

Why my outcry?  I was out to dinner last night with my guy, and there was a girl at the table next to us. When removing her coat, she dropped her keys.  In bending over to pick them up, I got a face full of butt crack. I kid you not, about seven inches from my dinner plate. Now, I didn't order butt crack, and I sure as hell didn't want it showing up right next to my dinner.  The culprit, super low rise jeans.   

Ladies, you know how to prevent taco butt now (last blog, last blog), but now, Take a good honest look at those super low rise denims that you still have.  Only you can prevent taco butt, and only you can keep "crack" out of our malls, bars, clubs, churches, grocery stores... and of course, your local mall-gourmet chain resturants.