What could be better than a Milwaukee threesome? Get your mind out of the gutter, buddy, that's not what we mean. A Milwaukee threesome: three great ways to spend the day -- or evening -- with a friend, with a date or, if it's the best you can do, with your mom (sorry mom, no offense, really!).

Romantic Threesome
The first two steps will help guarantee the success of the third here. First, hit Kehr's Candy on 36th and Lisbon or Northern Chocolate on King Drive and buy some nice chocolates. Then get to Tulipmania on Howard Avenue for some beautiful blooms. That will ensure a radiant glow across the table when you arrive for a romantic dinner at Bjonda in downtown Tosa or at Celia in The Pfister Hotel. If three ain't enough, make it a foursome by going dancing at Aqua or Eve.

Cheap Date Threesome
OK, so you're not Bill Gates or even the guy that cleans viruses off Bill Gates' hard drive, you can still have a great night out. Instead of a three-course meal, pop into Palermo Villa on the East Side for one of Milwaukee's best pizzas and high-tail it across the street to the Oriental Theatre for a film. You might even be able to sneak up into the balcony and make out (but don't narc on us if you get caught). Then, head across to Von Trier for drinks amid the German country splendor (if it's warm and you can sit outside, even better!) for the perfect end (?) to a perfect night.

The Morning After
Beat the Sunday morning woe with a Bloody Mary at McBob's on 49th and North and then head west to 62nd and North. There, at Ted's, you can belly up to the counter for a hearty all American breakfast and some good conversation. If it's football season, curl up on the couch or hit your favorite tavern to watch the Packers game. If you're a soccer fan, remove the words "favorite tavern" and "Packers game" and replace with "The Highbury" or "The Nomad" and "soccer game."

Musical Milwaukee
Start out touring the city's best record shops -- don't miss Atomic on the East Side, Lotus Land in Riverwest, Farwell Music and Bay View's Rush-Mor -- and don't forget to support local music by buying at least one CD by a Milwaukee band. Next, pop in for a quick one at The Groove on KK. Finish up with a full slate of bands at the Cactus Club on Russell and Wentworth.

Purely Milwaukee
The purely Milwaukee threesome launches with a fish fry down by Serb Hall, doncha know. You'll need nourishment before going down under at the Holler House to bowl a few lines. While you're there, a couple beers will put you in the mood for some accordion music, and luckily you won't have to go far to polka at Art Altenburg's Concertina Bar.

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