Ohmigod, Joanie really did love Chachi. Or at least she made love to him, according to actor Scott Baio's autobiography, "BaioWatch: How I Dated and Loved Hollywood's Most Beautiful Women and Ended Up Alone." Baio is reportedly pitching the book to a range of publishers.

Apparently, 1997 rumors of his demise were premature.

"I didn't know what to do," Baio told Canada.com. "I didn't know what to say after we got naked. So for the first five minutes, maybe less -– hell, it might have been the first 20 seconds –- I'm doing it and thinking, man, this is really uncomfortable. Instead of being inside Erin, I was humping a corduroy sofa!"

Baio, 45 -- who appeared in TV's "Happy Days," "Joanie Loves Chachi" and "Charles in Charge," among others -- also reportedly talks about his relationships with other Hollywood women in the book, including Pamela Anderson, Brooke Shields, Nicolette Sheridan, Heather Locklear, Erika Eleniak and Nicole Eggert. He also said that Liza Minelli asked him to donate his sperm so she could have a baby.

Cousin Fonzie would be so proud.

He told Canada.com that Anderson's breast augmentation surgery effectively ended their relationship.

"At that moment I knew our relationship would soon begin to crumble. Pamela had finally gone Hollywood -- or whatever it is that happens when a woman becomes a hot celebrity."

Perhaps most explosive is his anecdote about meeting Beverly D'Angelo. Baio claimed he told her that her overbite was sexy and he said she replied, "I don't have an overbite, dear. I have a c**ksucker's mouth."

Man, he must have been all over Laverne DeFazio!