The worst ladies room of all times was in the now-defunct Stork Club. Aside from a sink that only dribbled hot water, a gurgling toilet that was partially dismantled, and an offensive stench of Mr. Clean and Number Two, there was never any toilet paper. Or, if there was, it was slightly moist.

Luckily, there are plenty of bars in this town with pleasant powder rooms. You probably don't want to drink off of the floors, but here's a list of places where, at the very least, it seems safe to sit on the seat:

Buca di Beppo
1233 N. Van Buren St., Milwaukee
(414) 224-8672

Buca is really more of a restaurant than a bar, but it had to make the list because, hands down, it's home to the best little girl's room in the city. The pink boomerang-patterned Formica is awesome, and the tasteful but naughty photos of naked men are always worth sneaking a peak at while drying your hands. Best of all, there are stalls for almost as far as the eye can see and it always smells nice in there. Perhaps ours really do smell like roses?

The Monkey Bar
1517 S. 2nd St., Milwaukee
(414)414-382-4663

You KNOW a woman owns this bar based on the state of the restroom. It's clean, large enough for three -- even four -- gals to pile into for middle-of-the-evening gossip, and it's stocked with girlie goodies like hairspray, cherry red lipsticks and lotion.

Milwaukee Ale House
233 N. Water St., Milwaukee
(414) 226-2337

Although TP is sometimes missing in action, there is usually a friendly girl in the stall next to you who is willing to share a few squares. Four stalls mean a very short wait, which is good, considering how easily the homebrews go down here.

Vitucci's
1832 E. North Ave., Milwaukee
(414) 273-6477

No frills and a little cramped at times, but usually pretty clean and well stocked. Plus, it's dimly lit which is always appreciated over glaring fluorescent lights that make a small blemish look like a man-eating goiter.

Hi-Hat Lounge
1701 N. Arlington Pl., Milwaukee
(414) 225-9330

This funky loo makes you want to run home and repaint yours. Colorful, clean and, like the bar, almost too hip but somehow still comfortable.

Blu
424 E. Wisconsin Ave., Milwaukee
(414) 273-8222

Located in the ritzy Pfister building, the bathroom's large stall has a spectacular window offering an amazing view of the city. No need for literature with scenery like this.

Eve
718 N. Milwaukee St., Milwaukee
(414) 347-5555

Eve's "water closet" is wild, stylish, full of mirrors and overall an outlandishly elegant environment to relieve yourself of the martinis.

Paddy's Pub
2339 N. Murray, Milwaukee
(414) 223-3496

Never a shortage of soft squares and even-in-the-corners clean, it's like peeing at a fussy aunt's. Sweetly understated with dog-related art, a nice plant and the all-important dry seat.

Trocadero
1758 N. Water St., Milwaukee
(414) 272-0205

Trocadero has a fantastically feminine washroom. Small and tidy, the keylime yellow and periwinkle walls are beautiful. Sweet soaps and endless rolls of tissue make "breaking the seal" a joyful experience.